Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We are all done wearing pants today
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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