she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
