I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
