Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
