She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
did i walk over a car last night?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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