physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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