Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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