I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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