sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
