Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
