Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You can't motorboat a personality
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
