Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
