quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
