he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I see more hoeing in ur future
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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