why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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