So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
