But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I AM VODKA MAN
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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