I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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