So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
