White coat. Heels.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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