Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
