I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
A+ Viking dick
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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