are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You need a sexual gate keeper
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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