so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
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Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just googled if crying burns calories
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
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She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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