No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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