wat bout pragnant strippers??
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
