I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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