i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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