this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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