How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
