Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
