Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
