i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
