Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize