Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize