it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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