Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize