Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
