I want to have your abortion
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
