Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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