I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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