Where is the hickey?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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