My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
