Already got asked if we're dating
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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