She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
