maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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