Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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