I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
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while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
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I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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