Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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