My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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