he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
