Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and thereโs a CVS next to it
Randomize
