THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
