come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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