i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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