Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
