I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize