don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
