this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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