How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
